I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
