I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
