I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
