yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
