do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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