How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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