I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
