Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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