Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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