i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I will be naked everywhere
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
