So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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