I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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