He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize