Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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