that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
