Midget sex pt 2 tonight
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
