apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
