its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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