Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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