My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
