I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
