My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
