I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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