hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize