Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
