he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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