Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
