Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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