Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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