I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
