i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
