I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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