So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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