I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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