so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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