i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
