Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize