It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
