Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
not ubering you a puppy
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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