I CAN MOONWALK!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
