i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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