the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
