it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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