Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
