no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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