Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
