Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
