My first STD was from a foam party
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
