i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
