it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
