That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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