Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
