She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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