An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize