why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
