We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
