I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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