I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
