I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
