I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
